What do you mean Valentine’s Day is not for us?! Single? We still have cause to celebrate!!!
To be honest, I used to feel left out, lonely and insignificant when it came to this time of year. Truth is, there was a good chance you would have found me sulking around or even shedding a few tears as the dreadful “Valentine’s Day” reared its ugly head. If you are single, okay let’s face it, if you are female, I’d venture to guess that at some point in your life you could relate. As women, Valentine’s Day can feel like a spotlight highlighting our lack of relationship or, better said, lack of love. I have been asked countless times, “Have you found love?”, as if it was lost. Singer Johnny Lee made the saying, “Looking for love in all the wrong places” popular when his song went gold in 1980.
So how do we, as women, shake off the negative association of this overly commercialized holiday?
The definition of love has been described as “the antithesis of selfishness. It is active, and dissatisfied if not blessing others” (Unger 786). The common saying “reap what you sow” is true even with love. If we give love, rather than seeking it, we will experience love.
At the risk of causing upset, I will admit that my most rewarding Valentine’s Days have been as a single gal. Gasp! Oh the horror! Say it isn’t so! It is TRUE! As a single lady I have found my stride with this thing called love. Determined to not let Valentine’s Day defeat me again, I decided to make the most of it. I was somewhere around the age of 25 and about a year into my relationship with Jesus. I had come to understand that God has good plans for me and my life should be hopeful, not dreadful (Jer 29:11). So I tackled this Holiday head on! That year and the years that followed were filled with fun activities; hiking, treating myself to dinner or enjoying a night at home watching my favorite movie and eating ice-cream. I even have a tradition of buying myself a dozen roses the following day, half off, I might add. Now Feb 14th actually brings a smile to my face. In being intentional to have a positive attitude my perspective shifted from just doing something fun for myself to also wanting to express love to others.
Please feel free to implement your own variation of what I’m about to tell you or come up with your own expression of love. Just last week while walking through Target I stumbled upon the Valentine’s section. For me this year Valentine’s Day consists of little gifts filled with nostalgic toys and yummy heart shaped chocolates found in the aisles of a store. For some of the women in my life, this Feb 14th I am choosing to express love through a heartfelt yet simple gift. As I prepared the gifts and said a prayer of blessing over each of the ladies who will receive them I was overwhelmed by the love I felt. You see, as I set my heart on expressing love, I felt loved. We can do this for our loved ones as well as people we might not yet know. Our relationship with the person is not important. The matter of whether or not the person loves us is insignificant. The key is to give love and in turn love will swell up in us.
So this Valentine’s Day, whether single, married, divorced or widowed, make a point to GIVE love. In doing so I know you will feel loved. More than that, you will be walking in the reality that you ARE loved.
Unger, Merrill F. The New Unger’s Bible Dictionary. Chicago, Illinois: The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago, 1988.